Characters:
Creek Anchorite — A strange young man raised in the woods by a human hermit. He is very much a cloudcuckoolander, having never met normal people before. He doesn’t understand why it’s so strange how easily and quickly he heals. He has a strange birthmark on their forearm that most people assume is a tattoo.
Ammi Anchorite — An old hermit living in the woods. He found a random child in the nearby creek, so he took the kid in. Creek doesn’t always understand what Ammi is talking about, but the pair are very close.
Stone (Pondstone) — Our narrator; a mysterious faerie with a cloak and a healthy disrespect for the fourth wall. They have been watching over Creek for his whole life.
Huntley Boidae — A thrill-seeking oddball with a tendency to take in strays. Quite possibly the most normal member of the cast.
Doctor Seren Usher-Scott — A definitely trustworthy, definitely licensed “doctor” who has no interest in or knowledge of the organ trafficking scene.
****
[Lights up on Stone, stage center on an empty stage. They walk towards stage right as they address the audience.]
Stone: Good evening. The story you’re about to see may be a strange one to you, but it is entirely ordinary to me. Let me introduce you to Creek.
[Enter Creek, holding a half-carved hunk of wood and a knife. He starts carving, then freezes.]
Stone: I’ve known Creek his whole life, give or take. He has known me for approximately none of it. Well, Creek hasn’t really known anyone aside from a few squirrels, a stray cat and Ammi, the… questionable forest hermit who’s watched over him all these years. We open on a typical interaction between the two.
[Enter Ammi, holding a deck of cards. He starts to lay them out and play. Creek unfreezes.]
Creek: Ammi?
Ammi: Yeah?
Creek: What’s town like?
Ammi: Crowded.
Creek: Lots of people?
Ammi: Too many people.
Creek: I saw some hikers the other day up near the stream.
Ammi: Did you?
Creek: Yeah! They had a dog with them.
Ammi: Hm.
Stone: A fast-paced life out here.
Ammi: Have I ever told you the story about that stream?
Stone: He has.
Creek: Once or twice, I think.
Stone: Many times.
Ammi: …Are you sure? Feels like it’s been more.
[Stone looks a bit hopeful, watching expectantly.]
Creek: I mean, maybe. Tell me again?
[Stone sighs heavily. They slump to the ground to sit.]
Ammi: Well, about 17, 18 years ago…
[Stone counts fingers in confusion.]
Ammi: …I was walking along that area, and I heard this weird noise coming from the water. I thought maybe there was an animal or something stuck, but there you were, this weird little toddler sitting right there on a rock in the middle. I wasn’t just going to leave you there, so I waded in, picked you up and brought you home. I even asked around town if anyone lost a kid, but nobody had, so I figured that, hey, they left you on a rock dressed like a little freak, so I took you in myself, named you after where I found you.
Creek: Huh, neat!
Ammi: And then there was that night that those creepy forest people tried to take you away, but one sock to the jaw and they turned tail and ran!
[Stone rubs their jaw. Creek watches intently, and Ammi smiles a bit.]
Ammi: You still don’t know what I’m talking about, do you?
Creek: Nope!
[Ammi laughs, getting up from his work to ruffle Creek’s hair and give them a hug around the shoulders.]
Ammi: Eh, I guess you were pretty young, and you could sleep through a hurricane… still, I’m surprised you don’t remember that night! It was quite the scene.
Stone [muttering]: The real question is how YOU remember that…
Ammi: So… what’s with the interest in town all of a sudden?
Creek: Well, don’t you think it would be fun? New sights, new sounds, new people — it’ll be an adventure!
Ammi: I mean, I guess.
Creek: So… would you wanna go with me sometime?
Ammi: I’d rather stick a fork in my neck. You can go ahead though.
Creek: Really?
Ammi: Yeah, knock yourself out. Just don’t die, alright?
Creek: Promise!
[As Stone narrates, Ammi and Creek exit.]
Stone: It seems an important time to remind you that Creek has never been into town. Ever. I’m sure it will go fine, though. After all, I’m sure nothing could go wrong waltzing into a suburb without any knowledge of social norms or people… or roads.
[Enter Creek, who looks around curiously and stops center stage. Cue the sound of screeching tires, and Creek dropping like a box of rocks. Enter Huntley, running over in horror.]
Huntley: Oh my — I am so sorry, are you okay!?
Creek: Ow… what was that?
[Creek pulls themself up, adjusting their neck and shaking themself off.]
Creek: Well, that happened.
[Huntley looks Creek over with concern. As Huntley starts to speak, Creek notices them for the first time since getting hit.]
Huntley: You aren’t even scuffed — how?
Creek: No clue. I’m Creek, I’m new to towns. Good to meet you!
[Huntley smiles a bit, still confused.]
Huntley: I’m Huntley, good to meet you.
[Huntley extends a hand to shake. Creek just looks at their hand, then extends their own hand to match. Huntley awkwardly shakes Creek’s hand.]
Huntley: Hey, nice band!
Creek: Hm?
Huntley: Oh, your ink… the tattoo on your arm?
[The lightbulb goes off.]
Creek: Ohhhh, I was born with it.
Huntley: …Huh? Whatever, you said you’re new to town?
Stone: To most people, Creek would be weird, alien and probably more than slightly unsettling, and Huntley Boidae isn’t the exception. But luckily for Creek, Huntley is the kind of person who thinks “weird” and “unsettling” are synonyms for “endearing” and “lovable.”
[Huntley and Creek “talk” (inaudible) for a bit, then exit.]
Stone: Despite his dramatic entrance, Creek soon became accustomed to this new place, and he made sure to keep his “dad” very well updated.
[Enter Creek and Ammi far stage left, Huntley sets up a picnic blanket in the dark stage center.]
Ammi: Sounds lively.
Creek: Right? I knew you would come around!
Ammi: That’s not a compliment, Creek.
Creek: …Oh.
Ammi: But hey, it seems like it’s doing you some good. I’m glad.
Creek: Mm-hm! And Huntley is super fun. We went climbing yesterday, and today we’re going cliff diving!
Ammi: Hm… hey, Creek —
Creek: Oh — I gotta go! Love you!
[Creek runs off.]
Ammi: Wait — hey! Don’t die!
[Exit Ammi, lights up full stage on Huntley on the phone.]
Huntley: Oh, you’d love him, Asp! Last week, he bouldered up that cliff on West without breaking a sweat! He even slid down a ways, and he wasn’t even — I’m not lying!
[Enter Creek.]
Huntley: I have to go, bye.
Creek: Hi!
Huntley: Hey, buddy! Hope you’re hungry.
Creek: Starving. What’s that?
Huntley: Pickled herring.
Creek: Ew. Can I have some?
Huntley: Uh, sure.
[Huntley hands them the jar.]
Huntley: Oh! I forgot the chips in the car — be right back.
Creek: Okay.
[Creek continues to struggle. After a few moments, they sigh and pause, promptly getting distracted by a small pendant laying on the blanket. They pick it up, then promptly yelp in pain, dropping it and grabbing their hand. Stone enters, wearing a cloak.]
Stone: Excuse me, young man. I — are you alright?
Creek: Oh — hi! Uh, I picked up this thing and —
[Creek picks the pendant and drops it again, once again burning his hand. Stone backs away from the pendant quickly.]
Stone: Ah — I would recommend you avoid that charm.
Creek: Works for me! Anyway, who are you?
Stone: I don’t make it a practice of giving my name out to any normal person.
Creek: Oh… I’m Creek!
[A beat while Stone reacts.]
Stone: I might say, though, you don’t seem like any normal person to me.
Creek: Yeah?
[Creek picks the jar back up and begins to struggle again.]
Stone: Yes. Would you like some help with that?
Creek: That’s alright, I have an idea.
[Creek takes the jar and goes to shatter it over a rock.]
Stone: Don’t do that — it will hurt.
Creek: Oh, I’ll heal quick.
Stone: It will still hurt.
[Creek concedes and sets the jar down.]
Stone: There are others like you, you know.
Creek: Hm?
Stone: Well, don’t you think it’s a little odd that you are the only one who heals as fast as you do, who can do the things that you can do?
Creek: Eh, I guess.
Stone: Wouldn’t you like to meet others like that?
Creek: Nah.
Stone: …What?
Creek: I’ve got Huntley and Ammi. Who else do I need?
[Stone bristles at the mention of Ammi.]
Stone: I see, well —
[Stone looks behind themself, and flees back to their normal post, enter Huntley.]
Creek: Ok, bye!
Huntley: Who was that?
Creek: I dunno. Can you open this?
[Huntley takes the jar.]
Huntley: Woah — what happened to your hand?
Creek: Hm? Oh — I tried to pick up that necklace and it burned me. Is that not normal?
Huntley: …No? Here, give it to me.
[Creek gingerly lifts the pendant by the string and hands it over.]
Huntley: That’s weird, it feels normal to me.
Creek: What’s it made of? Maybe it’s like why you can’t eat apples.
Huntley: Wha— oh, an allergy. It’s just iron, though. Huh. Well, you ok?
Creek: I’ll be alright. Food?
[Huntley nods and the pair begin to eat. After a bit, Huntley makes a strange concoction of food and drink, likely with a lot of hot sauce.]
Huntley: Hey, I dare you to drink this.
Creek: Okay!
[Creek downs it like a shot.]
Creek: Wow!
Huntley: I was joking! Was it good?
Creek [cheerfully]: No! Hey, I dare you to eat this.
Huntley: Oh, you’re entering dangerous territory!
[The pair continue silently.]
Stone: And thus, our young outsider discovers a beautiful thing: the stupid dare. These dares, paired with the duo’s already dangerous adventures, lead to… interesting results. First cliff diving, then bungee jumping, then today’s event: whitewater rafting. Through these all, Creek kept Ammi updated every step, and neither noticed the strangely dashing cloaked figure again… for now at least.
[The sound of rushing tides, and two badly injured main characters drag their hides onto stage, collapsing. Seren enters, acting sketchy.]
Stone: The problem, of course, with dangerous dares is that they’re… dangerous.
[Huntley drags themself up a bit, Seren jumps.]
Seren: Oh — you’re alive! Uh, I mean, thank God, you’re alive!
Huntley: Creek, are you okay?
Creek: Everything hurts!
Huntley: Okay, but are you bleeding?
Creek: Not anymore.
Seren: Hold on — I’m calling an ambulance. Wait — did you say not anymore?
Creek: Yeah, I healed already.
Huntley: I’ll take an ambulance.
Seren: Yeah, yeah, I’m on it.
[Seren starts to dial, then gets distracted by Creek standing up and brushing himself off, totally fine. Seren hands the phone to the still-collapsed Huntley. Huntley calls their own ambulance as Seren talks.]
Seren: Say, you are a real medical anomaly, you know that?
Creek: Yeah, I get that a lot.
Seren: I mean, if most people took a tumble like that they’d be completely helpless! Like, you’d be open for any wild animals or organ traffickers that happened to come along! Hypothetically!
Creek: Well, I’m glad that didn’t happen, did you —
Seren: Say, how about a job!
Creek: What?
Seren: Well, I’m a doctor myself! I’m looking for an assistant — someone to help me further the knowledge of medical science! You seem like a good fit.
[Seren shoves a business card in Creek’s hand before he can respond.]
Creek: Doctor Seren Usher-Scott, ND. Is this cardboard?
Seren: Just think about it!
[Seren dashes off as sirens approach. Lights down.]
Stone: As they were told, Creek thinks about it… as do Huntley and Ammi, the minute Creek gets the chance to tell them. Despite their hesitant reactions, neither says no, not directly at least, so our hero decides to give the “job” a shot!
[Enter Creek, led by Seren. They walk through a run-down shack, barely furnished with a threadbare couch and a metal fold-out table, upon which sits a shallow plastic tray full of sharp objects. A cooler sits in the corner, beside the entrance to a narrow hallway.]
Creek: I like your lab.
Seren: Thanks, it’s a rental.
Creek: What’s that?
Seren: My surgical tools.
Creek: Oh. What’s that one?
Seren: Sanitation kit.
Creek: And what’s that?
Seren: …Those are cockroaches.
[The pair comes to a stop in front of a seat.]
Seren: Sit here, please. I’ll go get my equipment.
[Seren turns around, just in time to see Ammi burst in.]
Ammi: Creek, get away from them!
Creek: Oh, hi Ammi!
[Seren and Ammi start to yell over each other. As they do, Huntley enters and Creek strolls over to them.]
Seren: This is a private residence! Get out of —
Ammi: Private residence my foot! You can’t just come in here and take my kid. Someone already tried that once and I —
Seren: They came here of their own admission. It’s not my fault they have the reasoning skills of a toddler! I —
[Seren and Ammi continue to yell at each other, the conflict quickly becoming physical.]
Huntley: Uhhh, hey guys?
[Seren looks over, gets knocked out by Ammi.]
Ammi: Well, that takes care of that.
Huntley: What’s going on? Scratch that — I’m calling the cops.
Ammi: Way ahead of you.
[Ammi takes Seren’s phone from their pocket.]
Huntley: Who are you?
Creek: That’s my dad.
Huntley: Ohhhh, Ammi! Nice to meet you.
[Huntley extends a hand, Ammi looks at it with disgust.]
Ammi: Don’t touch me. Here.
[Ammi walks right past Huntley and hands Creek the phone.]
Ammi: I guess I gotta stay and talk to the cops?
Huntley: Yeah, I think so.
Ammi: Fine, but then we’re going home. That alright?
Huntley: Yeah, that’s —
Ammi: Not you. Creek?
Creek: Works for me.
[Sirens sound outside. Exit all.]
Stone: And that was just one chapter in the life of Creek Anchorite; a strange person in a place not suited for them, that came to love it and be loved all the same. As for Creek’s true heritage, perhaps there is much more to it than we know…
[Stone pulls his sleeve up, showing the mark on his arm — a band identical to that of Creek’s — then gives the audience a gesture to shush, before exiting.]